Memories
by no-tracing-herman
Summary: Blaine can't get Sam out of his head. He has a distraction in the form of Kurt Hummel but all he really want's is the man he loves. When Blaine finds out about Quinn, how will he react?


"_Hey" Sam said slowly. He sounded wrong, offbeat, perhaps a little upset. Blaine grabbed his hand and pulled him into his dorm room slamming the door behind them. Sam always felt more comfortable when they were alone. He wasn't exactly out of the closet. Not even to himself really. He was still confused, Blaine got that, Sam liked Blaine and that was all he knew. As far as Blaine was concerned that was okay. Discovering yourself is hard, having feelings you didn't truly understand is really tough. _

"_Hi" Blaine smiled widely before pulling Sam into a hug. Sam sighed contentedly and rested his head on Blaine's shoulder. Yep, Blaine thought, something is definitely up. "What's the matter?" Blaine breathed._

"_I-I-I-I'm moving" Sam muttered "Going to live in Lima"_

"_But that's like two hours away" Blaine nearly shouted dropping his arms from around Sam. _

"_I'm sorry" Sam whispered "I am, Blaine, don't freak please? I don't want to go but it isn't exactly my choice. My dad's got a new job...I have to go..."_

"_It's okay" Blaine nodded "It's okay, sorry I was just...I'm just upset that's all. It's only two hours away, right? And It's not like you're leaving right now, is it?"_

"_Right...about that..."_

"_What?" Blaine asked suspiciously. Sam looked towards the floor guiltily and sighed deeply._

"_I kept trying to tell you but I didn't want to upset you so I kept putting it off...we go in a week"_

"_A WEEK?" Blaine screamed. _

"_Don't get mad..."_

"_You drop a bombshell like this on my and expect me not to get mad?" Blaine ranted "Why the hell didn't you tell me Sam?"_

"_I'm telling you now, aren't I?" Sam mumbled grumpily._

"_That's no kind of excuse...a week?"_

"_I'm sorry"_

"_It...it isn't your fault" Blaine sighed beginning to calm down "I'm sorry, I over reacted, it's just big news, my brain can't quite process it" _

"_No...no...I should have told you" Sam pulled Blaine closer to him and rested their foreheads against each other. "I was just scared. I thought if I didn't say anything it might just go away."_

" _At least we have a week, right?" Blaine sighed slowly pressing his lips to Sam's. _

"_Right" Sam smiled. He saw a tear roll down Blaine's cheek and his heart just about broke. Sam kissed the tear away and smiled "We can phone, text, email...this isn't the end Blaine"_

"_I know" Blaine whispered "I'm being silly. It's just..." Blaine's voice broke and his eyes found Sam's "It's going to be really hard not seeing you every single day"_

"_I'm gunna miss you Blaine" Sam felt himself crying now._

"_Maybe if you just told them..."Blaine whispered "about us. Maybe they'd understand"_

"_How could they possibly understand? I don't understand!" Sam grunted "I love you Blaine. I know that. I love you with all my heart. If I tell them that they'll expect it to be some huge revelation like me telling them I'm gay or at least bi... but I don't know... what I am. You are the only person I've ever been attracted to in any way. I could be straight for all I know, it's not a gay thing, or a bi thing...it's a Blaine thing" _

"_I don't want you to leave" Blaine whispered slowly "I love you"_

"_I don't want to leave" Sam crashed his lips against Blaine. It was clumsy and needy their teeth smashing together, their tongues entwining and a feeling of fire running through their bodies. It was love. They knew that much. It was teenage and innocent and beautiful._

Blaine woke up breathing heavily drenched in sweat. He hated dreams. Especially dreams about Sam. He'd been gone six months; they hadn't talked for four months. Blaine thought he should be over it by now. Mainly because he'd met Kurt and he actually liked Kurt. They had only known each other a couple of weeks admittedly but still there was a spark. It wasn't anything like he felt for Sam, but it had potential to grow into something bigger. There was something between them and Blaine intended to find out what it was.

If only he could shake Sam out of his head. Sam and his adorable smile and his dark blonde hair and his geeky action figures and his...Blaine STOP IT! He internally cursed himself, he doesn't love you anymore, and it's time to move on. What he had with Sam was real, at the time it was, the distance had been a lead weight on their relationship and they'd buckled under it. Kurt lived in Lima too, Blaine mentally noted, the distance hadn't seemed a problem for their friendship so far. Maybe he and Sam just weren't meant to be together.

"_I'm just settling in Blaine" Sam groaned. They were sat on Sam's bed in Sam's new room, it had an awesome super hero mural painted behind them and it was incredibly dorky and Sam-like. "It's hard to settle in to a new place when your old life keeps showing up at your doorstep"_

"_Well if you don't want me here" Blaine muttered shyly. He looked crestfallen and Sam sighed. He didn't like it when Blaine was upset._

"_I didn't say that..." He breathed._

"_You might as well have."_

"_Please Blaine. Don't be like this" Sam begged. He reached out and grabbed Blaine's hand "All I'm trying to say is that you don't have to come over every day. It hurts too much. Reminding me of Dalton and your dorm room..." Sam chuckled "How nice it was, how happy and free... I can't be like that here Blaine. My mom's already getting suspicious. She keeps asking why your round all the time"_

"_Well maybe you should tell her it's because I love you" Blaine said bitterly "because every second at Dalton is torture without you..."_

"_Blaine" Sam choked "I don't want you coming here anymore"_

"_W-w-what?" Blaine stuttered._

"_It's obvious we aren't working" Sam laughed "When you're at Dalton without me its hell. When I'm here without you its hell. When we're together all we do is fight. Maybe we should break up."_

"_Because that would make us happy?"_

"_At least then we'd both know where we stand" Sam said coldly. Blaine dropped Sam's hand and stood up abruptly. _

"_Your mom is lovely. You know if you told her she'd understand." Blaine whispered harshly "but you are just a scared little boy Sam Evans. Too scared to be with me properly and you know what I'm worth more than that...I'm worth more than __**you**__. You're right, this doesn't work, __**we**__ don't work" _

"_I'm sorry Blaine" Sam said tears falling down his cheeks "I love you"_

"_Yeah well..." Blaine sighed "I loved you too" he marched out of Sam's new house and didn't look back. That was the last time they saw each other. The last time they spoke._

Blaine felt so guilty for everything he said that day. If he'd just fought for his relationship it would have been different. Everything would have been different. Maybe he'd still have Sam. They'd have been talking and laughing and texting and sexting and having phone sex and acting like two ordinary teenagers in love. He needed something to take his mind off Sam. He'd needed a distraction. Kurt. Kurt was the perfect distraction. He pulled out his phone and typed in the word he knew so well. The word that he knew would light up Kurt's face. The word he knew would make Kurt's day. The word he wished he possessed. **'Courage'.**

'**Thanks Xx' Blaine smiled at the text he received from Kurt.**

'**Rough day?' He quickly typed back.**

'**You don't know the half of it Xx' Blaine noted the kisses Kurt was sending in his direction and smiled. He couldn't bring himself to send them back.**

'**Is everything okay?'**

'**Karofsky Xx'**

'**Ahh, Do you want me to meet you after school or something?'**

'**That would be nice. I've got glee but after that should be good Xx'**

**Hmm, Blaine thought, Kurt did technically spy on the Warblers, perhaps now was the time to repay the favour. **

Blaine opened the door to what he assumed was the auditorium. It had some stupid name. 'The April Rhodes Civic Pavilion' he snorted. Probably some ridiculous financial backer. Dalton had far too many blocks named after 'generous' parents. They weren't generous, they wanted their little angles to pass an exam, or receive an honour or something like that, Dalton was fairly corrupt. Of course Blaine couldn't complain, The Anderson wing had helped him become the Warblers soloist. Not that he couldn't have done that by himself.

He sat down at the back of the room and began to pay attention to what was happening on stage. That's when he saw Sam. Blaine felt his heart rate increase. He felt like he'd been kicked in the chest. Sam...Sam went to the same school as Kurt? And his hair...his beautiful dark blonde hair had changed. It was really blonde. Like Barbie and Ken style blonde. The girl he was singing with was blonde too. In fact Barbie and Ken would be the perfect words to describe the creatures on stage. They were both flawless. After Blaine got over the initial shock of seeing the guy he was still madly in love with he began to pay attention to what was happening.

They were singing some sort of a love song to each other. 'Endless Love' – Dianna Ross and Lionel Ritchie. Classic. Blaine felt tears welling up in his eyes. He was being stupid, just because they were singing together it didn't mean they were together. Sam was confused, Blaine remembered, He couldn't have just gotten over me just like that. The perfect blonde girl began walking over to him her hips swaying and as the music ended she placed a chaste kiss on his lips and he smiled at her lovingly. The whole glee club erupted in applause and before Blaine knew what he was doing his legs had carried him to the isle. He began walking toward the stage not knowing what was happening and muttered in a dazed state "W-w-w-what the h-h-hell?"

"Blaine?" Sam said his voice filling with fear "What are you doing here?"

"I'm not stalking you if that's what you're worried about" Blaine spat out the words venomously "I meant the words I said that day..."

"No you didn't" Sam whispered "I know when you're lying..."

"Well I kept my word didn't I? I left and I didn't keep in contact with you. Just to make it clear I'm not following you, I didn't even know you came to this school, I'm here to see Kurt."

"Kurt?" Sam snorted "I mean" His voice softened "That's nice." He smiled "this is my girlfriend, Quinn"

"A pleasure I'm sure" Blaine muttered sarcastically. His throat was constricting and his eyes were watering. He hated the fact his body was betraying him. He didn't want to seem weak and needy in front of Sam. He registered a slight hint of pleasure when he noticed Sam's eyes had too misted over. The whole glee club was staring at them shocked and confused looks upon their faces. Sam and Blaine's conversation had being incredibly cryptic and the only thing the glee club had established was that Sam and Blaine had been close. Once upon a time but that time had gone and now their relationship was tetchy and tense.

"Don't talk to her in that tone of voice Blaine"

"I'm not using any tone of voice" Blaine backpedalled unconvincingly.

"Yes you are. Don't play dumb with me. I know you too well"

"_How did you know?" Blaine glanced up from a pile of books looking worn out._

"_I know you too well" Sam laughed "You always bog yourself under with work close to exams and make yourself sick."_

"_I'm going to fail" Blaine muttered._

"_No you aren't"_

"_Yes I am"_

"_NO" Sam said defiantly. He pulled Blaine towards him into a harsh kiss "You are not going to fail, okay?"_

"_I think I need convincing a bit more" Blaine whispered suggestively. Sam chuckled and his lips found Blaine's once more. Their tongues began to explore each other's mouths moving with such synchronisation it was almost like a dance. They made their way over to the bed stripping off clothes and giggling. _

_Blaine woke up several hours later it Sam's arms. _

"_So" Sam laughed "How was that for a distraction?"_

"I can remember the last time you said that" Blaine said "It was just an ordinary day, I doubt you remember it"

Sam put his hands on his head. He looked vulnerable and stressed. Maybe Blaine shouldn't have instigated this long overdue conversation in front of his glee club but he hadn't intended too...it just happened. "I remember" Sam laughed tears spewing down his face "You were studying"

"Too hard"

"Like always" Sam smiled fondly "You were terrified you were going to fail and be kicked out of Dalton"

"I should have failed. I was so unprepared thanks to you distracting me" Blaine laughed.

"Well, you're welcome Mr I-Didn't-Study-Because-I-Was-Distacted-Yet-I-Still-Came-Top-Of-My-Class" Sam rolled his eyes and Blaine snorted.

"What can I say? I'm an over-reactor!"

"I know you are"

"What?"

"Pink. Shirts." Sam said slowly. Quinn left the stage and sat with the rest of the glee club. Kurt, Mercedes and Quinn were watching the conversation intently yet the rest of the glee club had become bored and began muttering to each other. Mr Schuster had fallen asleep.

"_I am never, ever, ever going to trust you ever again" Blaine screamed._

"_I'm sorry!"_

"_YOU IDIOT"_

"_Sorry"_

"_You buffoon! I told you I was perfectly capable of doing my own washing-"_

"_Sorry"_

"_-But no-"_

"_Sorry"_

"_-'Blaine chill out I can do it', all my shirts Sam...ALL OF THEM!"_

"_Mine are all pink too" Sam muttered "And I so can't rock that look"_

"_But I can right, because I'm gay?"_

"_Well...yeah..." Sam said quietly "It's more acceptable for a gay guy to wear pink"_

"_Yeah and you are so straight" Blaine scolded. _

"_I don't know" Sam shivered "stop hassling me about it Blaine. I'm sorry I'm not like you. I'm sorry I wasn't just born knowing who I am."_

"_You need to stop pretending your straight. At least do that much. Every time I so much as touch you outside this room you flinch-"_

"_I'm scared"_

"_-You know Wes and David think you are a massive homophobe? They don't understand why we spend so much time together."_

"_I'm sorry"_

"_You're scared?"_

"_Yes"_

"_Why?"_

"_In case you haven't noticed Blaine being gay isn't the easiest thing in the world. I don't want anyone to know until I'm a hundred percent sure who I am."_

Blaine sat on the edge of the stage next to Sam "Being gay isn't the easiest thing in the world" He whispered.

"You remember the pink shirt incident?"

"Of course I remember" Blaine growled "I had to wear pink shirts for a whole week before I had chance to go shopping"

"It was a funny week though"

"For you maybe..."

"What do you mean?"

"My mom and dad may have conveniently visited during that week" Blaine muttered depressed.

"You never told me?"

"Why would I tell you?"

"I thought you told me everything" Sam said quietly.

"I didn't want you meeting them" Blaine cried "They aren't very understanding. I thought if you met them you'd never come out"

Sam couldn't stop himself wrapping his arms around Blaine and dragging him to his chest. "God Blaine I'm so sorry what happened?"

"YOU'RE GAY!" Quinn shouted from where she was sitting.

"No...I-I-I don't know what I am" Sam said slowly "I-I-I-I've only ever loved one person in my life..."

Quinn smiled radiantly and Sam really wished he could have said he loved her. She was the perfect trophy girlfriend. Sweet, kind, considerate, catholic, head cheerleader, smart, funny...perfect.

"And that's Blaine" Sam finished. Blaine lifted his head of Sam's chest and looked in his eyes.

"You...you still love me?"

"Yes" Sam said slowly "But its okay. I know you're probably over me by now I just can't get you out of my head."

"NO!" Blaine screamed historically "I love you too, I really do. Everything I said that day it was just in the heat of the moment. I really really love you and I'm really sorry for being such a...a...a...bitch"

"You aren't a bitch" Sam smiled "You are the most amazing man I've ever met"

"I have exams coming up soon" Blaine muttered.

"Oh yeah?" Sam smiled.

"And I've been working wayyyy too hard" Blaine's voice was low and sexy.

"Have you now?" Sam smiled.

"Yeah and you see the thing is...I think I need a distraction"

"Well I would be more than happy to oblige." Sam had a goofy lopsided smile on his face "My room, eight o' clock. Be there"

"Oh I will" Blaine winked "I better get going though, I promised I'd meet with Kurt" Blaine smiled dashingly towards Kurt. He looked shocked and a little depressed. Mercedes was glaring at him with overt contempt. Quinn was crying on Kurt's shoulder and Blaine once again felt guilty for ruining so many things. He ruined Quinn's relationship and Kurt's potential relationship. He loved Sam though and love justifies just about anything. It's pretty much the strongest argument in the world. "That is if Kurt still needs to talk?"

"ERRRM" Kurt began "Yes I certainly have a few questions and I need some advice and...Stuff" Kurt muttered. Mercedes glared at him and Kurt said out loud "Yes I liked him Mercy, Yes I'm disappointed, but he's my friend and he is about the only person who understands what I'm going through"

Blaine jumped off the stage and linked arms with Kurt. They smiled at each other. "Oh and Sam" Blaine turned round.

"Yes?" Sam smiled.

"What the hell did you do to your hair?"

"Lemon juice" Sam muttered.

"God you are such a dork" Blaine snorted "I love you"

"I love you too" Sam blushed. 


End file.
